Bruised by Jaclyn N.

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Writer Updated 4 years ago
Language English Reads 626



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Published Jun 23, 2014 Popular

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interesting plot... however i would like to correct one thing: this looks more like an introduction than a prologue. or the better word for it would be, plot summary. However I don't think it is the actual plot summary but it does look like it. A prologue is more of a scene from a book. Something that intrigues readers. Draws them in. What you've posted so far can't rightly be stated as a prologue. It's more of a summary or an introduction to the protagonist and her life so far. Like, a review of her life till she grew up to be sixteen. Now, I don't know what it was exactly that you were trying to achieve, maybe you were just trying to tell us more about this girl. In that case, it's alright. But if you're really planning on making this into a book, then this is not how a book will usually start. All these things can be revealed in parts ind different chapters of your book. Plus, this was like you're telling us about the protagonist and her life. And in a book or a story, there has to be less of telling and more of showing. So as to show people her story, you've got to put in dialogues, take the readers into the exact moments of the events that took place. Make the thing livelier and more of the present than the past. However, I may have just misinterpreted what you were trying to convey. In that case, I am terribly sorry. I didn't mean to. Plus, I think this story will have a lot of potential. the main character seems interesting and different, to say the least. And in a good way. She is so relatable and like, an ordinary person, not some heroine, just a person in a crowd. I am liking how non-cliched her story is. So different from all the other books online. So I'm expecting a really good story from you :) you're an amazing writer with a huge potential.
Jaclyn N. June 26, 2014 at 19:37 Thank you :) I did have a legit prologue in mind when I started writing this but when I write, everything kind of just slips out and that's exactly what happened here but I kept the 'prologue' label on it, I am sorry if that is confusing or anything. At the time that I'd written this, I didn't know what else to make of it. I'm not sure if I'm going to add to it though, I've written several chapters to it already but I'm still thinking. This comment kind of encourages me to rethink posting more chapters, so thank you again. And I'm glad you like it! :)
lookingforagreaterperhaps June 27, 2014 at 08:03 that's okay and you're welcome :) I think you should post some more chapters but I don't want to pressurize you or anything. If you're not satisfied with your work, don't post it. Ultimately, It is only more important to satisfy yourself not others.
June 26, 2014 at 14:55